1. |
Nihilum
01:07
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2. |
Paroxysm
03:23
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Woven deep within my subconscious silently it waits,
this shape shifting shadow of dark energy
is always ready for the match to strike
to ignite and invade, taking over me
at the meer sight of...
The fuse has been lit, the trigger sparked
Spectral convulsions in the dark
The viciousness spreading like a venom through my veins
internal paroxysms make me..
..Hallucinate violent reactions
these self depraving,
nightmarish visions in me,
Epileptic spasms in my minds eye
and screaming silently.
This blade cuts deeper into
the primal urge
from life I diverge
I'm escaping you.
Repulsive flashing images of destruction
split second frames before my eyes
Hands to my face, seizing,
cold fingers aching
to expel these illusions I fantasize.
Exit the realm of reality
compulsion towards self destruction,
and entropy.
Image ignites
combustion of the fire inside
Dark empty skies
deeper I slice
cut you out.
I visualize cutting out the darkness within me
because the violence, it levels out the intensity.
These internal paroxysms plague my waking life
triggered by images that reflect the self-hatred inside
that I have kept buried.
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3. |
Irreversible
04:18
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Living life according to my selfish desires, playing with fire.
Trampling on the weak who cannot stand up to my strength.
What I want, get out of my way, I won't hesitate to annihilate you.
Untouchable, my power is bigger than you, better than you.
Blinded by the image of self.
Never imagined the horror I felt.
Looking back on this, what was it I missed?
How could I be so thoughtless?
The pain I have caused, the lives I've destroyed;
the destruction of myself.
This ignorance, your pain is my bliss, I've used you for my benefit.
Said and done, I've destroyed the only thing in life you love.
Swat the fly on my shoulder, I've ignored that I caused you pain.
This mistake, careless on my behalf, made you retaliate.
As I fell asleep I felt the haunting sense of nightmares
that lingered in the dense air, though irrational it seemed.
I awoke in confinement,
my fate sealed within these walls that imprisoned me.
Fifteen years alone,
with nothing but this TV screen for comfort.
Futile plans to escape (they wont let me escape)
Someone will fucking pay.
Finally I am released, waking that strange morning in a field.
Whoever's responsible will suffer my retribution, my fury.
Never could I have known,
the horror that had yet to be shown,
I could have never perceived this putrid reality.
Now it all made sense to me.
What the fuck have I done?
You have entrapped me into doing the unspeakable.
My life is ruined, the damage is done,
it's irreversible.
...Irreversible.
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4. |
Flatline
05:45
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Once again I've sunken into this realm,
a dull apathy, so familiar, so real.
A mindset that musters emotions lackluster,
this false reality of faded colors.
Empty thoughts, my soul that rots alone.
Sinking down, my dreams that drown in cold.
An icy tomb a harsh defeat.
Looking up, I see only how far I've sunk.
I can go no lower.
Looking down in horror, cavernous explorer
non-consensual relentless endeavor.
My heart beating slower.
Give me a reason why I should stay here?
my body's too tired to feel hate or fear.
No motivation to alleviate
(this) suffocating emptiness and lethargy.
Shutting down,
checking out.
This is my flatline.
I am exhausted, weathered and weakened.
I am exhausted, I'm ready to sleep.
Finally serenity
drifting off to sleep
please take my hand
and guide me gently
Please don't let me wake from
this peace I have earned
this peace I deserve.
I don't want to wake from
this place of comfort
away from the hurt.
Shutting down
Checking out
This is my flatline.
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